Class 2 - more than a little late!

I did not blog after class 2 and perhaps that was a sign of the week to come. I did my home work sparingly. Only 50% success rate this week whereas I had a 70% success rate during week 1.

I was very resistant to doing the body scan this week – I think because I was feeling down and did not want to be with that emotion?

Homework was the body scan 6 times, breathing meditation in variations of 5 minutes, 10 minutes and 15 minutes, and a pleasant events log.

I totally forgot about the pleasant events log. DRAT!! I completed it this morning. Fortunately I could recall some pleasant events to fill in.

This week I am experiencing PMS. Monday I was down. Tuesday I was really down in the am. Wednesday I felt a heaviness settling on me. Fortunately, I had my EMDR appointment Wednesday. We worked on getting rid of the heaviness. L thinks that when I start to feel down the feeling is almost comforting because I know it so well and sometimes I slide into it. She suggested stretching to open my chest and I felt somewhat better almost immediately.

For the first time ever my body resisted EMDR. I had a very hard time keeping my eyes open which has NEVER-EVER happened to me before. L says it happens to some of her other clients.

We tried to figure out when I had first felt the heaviness. I think it was in 4th grade when my dad was sick for the first time. I said, I know we (the kids/my siblings) had been told some version of what was going on, but I didn’t really know what was going on. L said think about what you just said – it is exactly what is going on with the house. Ah-ha.

We are hoping to close on the 22nd. We will see if that happens. I hope so. I want that drama to be over.

I have my 3rd mindfulness class tonight and I am committed to blogging about it sooner and doing a better job on my homework!!